Missing Mama is Back

Last weekend I called the girls daddy to see if he would come and help me with some projects and low and behold who is he with Missing Mama. I asked for her to talk to GS and he just cried and cried saying he wanted to see her. Then I got on the line and asked why she had not seen her son in 6 weeks. She said because I was mad at her! I told her that had nothing to do with her and her son and don't use me as the reason.
When they got there she then asked if she could still come to Pine Ridge. I told her yes, but she brought the girls dad with her. Not only that she got the youngest baby back, little Button Eyes. She is so cute, 10 months old now and has not been with her mother since she was 4 months old.
GS very angry at me.... and very emotional. I only hope this works, but of course she has not went to treatment. We will see. I am not about to give up the guardianship until she has shown her changed self. I will not put him at risk again.
So we are all holed up in my little apartment. I cleaned out my spare room for them, and re arranged my life again. We shall see, with lots of prayers it works out ok.

Another Week and Some Heartache

Just put the sad grandson to bed. He has been peeing in his pants all week. Tonight he was so quiet in the bedroom I thought he was asleep. I put him in the bathtub and went into the room to get his PJs together and there on the floor right in front of where he was sitting was a picture of him and his mom. Just broke my heart and apparently his too. After bath he came to me and looked so sad asking me to read him his book. I asked him if he was said and he nodded yes. I sat him in my lap and asked him if he missed his mom and he started to cry. I just held him and let him cry, telling him that his mama did love him and I was sorry she had not seen him in a while. I told him she was having a hard time and that's why she was gone. But I kept reassuring him she did love him.
My poor little guy : ( so sad that he has to go through this, so sad that she is drinking and caught up in the power of the bottle. I know only to well what this was about, I too have had my battles with alcohol and it about destroyed me. It was so long ago.... that I sometimes forget the grip it can have on your life.
I wish I could help her, save her but I know that I can't. She will live with the memory of not being their for her children for the rest of her life. They will also have to live with this for the rest of their lives.
I have had this boy for 7 months now. She has not seen him since April 16th when she dropped him off as he screamed and cried for her. She called my son last week, drunk he said. I asked if she was crying around but he said no she sounded pretty happy. When he asked her why she had not seen grandson she said it was because I was mad at her. Well she can use all the excuses she wants, she just does not want or can stop her self destructive behavior.
The only thing that saves me is him, having to care for him and love him and knowing above all he safe.

Weeks Have Passed

Weeks have passed and not a word from Missing Mama, she has not seen him since April 16th, and at first I tried calling no answer to the numbers I had for her. I just decided to stop, because if she wants to see him she will come around. Grandson has not said much about her. The other night he was sitting in his little spider man chair, talking on the plastic cell phone telling about his new "cool rock" he had gotten from a co worker of mine. He said "What you doing mom?" telling her it was "cool." About a week ago we had went out to supper and he would not eat his soup, I turned to him and said that makes me sad, he then.. with tears in his eyes "My mom makes me sad" he then became so upset, crying and could not be consoled.
Life can be so hard, but most days he is a dear. He is a three year old boy and acts like one!! Running, laughing, playing with his beloved cars. He has his gentle moments too, where he just comes up to me and kisses me on the cheek, saying "I love you Unci." I am better now, not so upset maybe getting used to idea, and just having to move on for both of us. I can't let her ruin my life or his. So move on Unci, move on!!