She What? Wants to take a vacation?

Missing Mama thinks she needs a vacation! How can that be? Vacation from sleeping in each day? or maybe she needs a break from living from one place to the next, not really knowing where she is going to lay her head each night. Its sure not a vacation from having 3 children she is not taking care of! I almost can't stand the sight of her, I almost can forget how much I do love her. She is slowing taking this all away from me, by allowing her 2 girls wallow in poverty when she has a perfectly nice apartment to take the too. But no that's just a little too much to ask for, because then she would be alone and lord knows she could not suffer a little discomfort for the sake of her children. I will never understand, nor do I have to. Little guy suffers, I see it in his face. Before the last visit he told me I don't want to see my mom, and then told his babysitter he wanted to beat his mother up! Three years on this earth and such pain no child deserves this! Me, I can handle it, but there are times when I think, I don't want to raise another child. I want some peace and quiet. I want to not have to worry about his mess, or keeping a schedule or finding someone to watch him when I need to work extra or travel for my job! I do it because I love him, and God has placed him in my hands for now and maybe for longer so I will love and nurture him the best that I know how, its all I can do.
I see no future for myself besides working, making money, so grateful for my job, and my family. Enjoying the peace of my other two children doing well for once. Thankful for my other close relatives and friend who lend me strength when I need it. Most of all God thank you for giving me my heart and my lovely grandchildren.